I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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