So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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