I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
