No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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