I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
