i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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