Dual....:-)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
