The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
