I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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