I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
