Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
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I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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