So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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