That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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