Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
