there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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