Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
