physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
