glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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