do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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