I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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