I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
