as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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