dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you never un-have a 4some
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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