I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
