made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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