Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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