friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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