Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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