I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
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I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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