i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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