Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
