I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
