apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize