apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
