WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
