Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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