Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
