hell yes lets make some ravioli
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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