I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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