Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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