I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize