it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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