Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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