i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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