i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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