you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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