Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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