She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
