about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
