There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
