i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
