I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
