I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
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On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize