I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
