did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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