In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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