Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
