we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
