Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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