so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
PANTIES FOUND
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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